we had a good run, i think
every beginning is also an ending, so you rise and you fall simultaneously.
i am sure that from the outside it seems sudden, but for me it has been brewing for a long time. it has been swirling inside of me, a wordless mass, a struggle i have been unable to express, until only recently.
when i came back to music, when i started the band, i knew that above all my duty was to protect the gift, to honor the muse, to not let inspiration whither and die while i'm so busy chasing some dream. some ego-sating rock star bullshit. some control-freak perfectionist fantasy. i don't imagine for a minute that i'm immune - i'm not, which is precisely why i have to be strong. the songs are pure; i have to protect them. from myself , sometimes.
we had a good run. we were only together for 7 months and in that time we made a nice little dent in the world. it was the first time that i ever tried to put together a 'real' band, and if i had gotten it right the first time, that would have been too easy.
so that's it. i've got a sublet in new york, my guitar, and all these songs. what will happen? i do not know. and from now on, i will try not to pretend that i do.