it's been too long

it has been too long since i updated my site, and the longer i wait, the harder it is. 
so much has happened. most of it has been non-apparent, an invisible internal dance of conflict and resolution, again and again inside my churning feverish thoughts. but there has been a physical journey too. since i left school and my apartment last october, i have been to india, france, and england, lent my voice to two albums, recorded my own demos, written songs, started to learn my first sport (tennis), had my brain x-rayed, and spent 16 days in a cultish 'school' of 'personal growth'. and i grew. personally. 
now i am home, and wiser from my adventure, it's unexpected obstacles and disappointments and wrong turns.

it's been too long since i played a show, or made and album, went on tour, visited a radio station, did a stupid interview, or ate in the roy rogers on 95N. i am finally really ready. i thought i was ready last fall, but it was a frantic and desperate and fearful lunge that i took, blindly reaching, and in my blindness i fell easily into traps i never saw coming. 
but now i feel calm. i just love music. i love to write, to sing, to play, to record. and i really don't give a shit about the rest of it anymore. i am not going to judge myself based on the reactions of others. i have learned the value of inspiration and will do everything i can to protect it.

speaking of inspiration, i've been hanging out with bella morte again, especially andy, and it had been way too long since i did that too. they just kick so much ass. they love what they do and they do it with love. they have big dreams but it doesn't keep them from savoring every step along the way. i could say so many good things about those guys.

it's really wonderful to be home. i stumbled across an opportunity to teach ashtanga yoga 5 days a week for the summer and it is sooo rewarding and beautiful. i'm hanging out with all of my old musician and songwriter friends, and it's awesome. karmen is coming over this afernoon to play music with me. i got a little digital home studio thing with a built in drum machine and get to spand hours with headphones on feeling like a mad scientist in a lab.

i love life right now. and, like my mom says, it's always right now.

Lauren Hoffman